And Where Does It Come From?
We all have inner voices in our heads: some positive (You did that well), some negative (You really messed up). Where do they come from?
They are mental pathways in our minds that represent everything we've ever experienced. They include representations of the important people in our early lives: parents, teachers, coaches. If you were fortunate enough to have loving parents, the voices will be predominately positive.
On the other hand, if one or more important figures from the past were critical, you will have developed mental pathways embodying them. Most people have a mixture of positive and negative mental pathways of their parents because parents typically provide a mixture of responses to our actions.
When the Negative Voices are Strong
If the negative voices are strong, they can inundate you with feelings of self-doubt, perfectionism, or guilt, and you don't realize why. Many assume that everyone feels that way. It seems as though these feelings are just part of life, and the resulting discomfort just seems like a given.
The Various Solutions to the Problem
The true solution to your distress would be to understand its origin and to realize that the critical voice in your head is often providing inaccurate feedback: automatic criticism whether or not it's warranted. A young child doesn't have the mental capability to understand this. Her choices are limited to partial solutions. She may acquiesce and feel like an inadequate or bad person, which leads to chronic depression; or she may rebel, rejecting the criticism, which leads to loss of love of the critical figure, which also leads to chronic depression.
Partial Solutions Contribute to One's Ongoing Stress Level
We are most comfortable when our minds are operating at an optimal stimulus level––not too little (which causes boredom), and not too much (which causes discomfort). Any new stimulus disrupts the optimal stimulus level. In response, the mind automatically searches for the solution that restores the equilibrium.
If a true solution is available, the mind chooses it, and comfort is restored. But when only a partial solution is available, it is chosen. This reduces but does not end the discomfort. The lessened but ongoing distress contributes to one's overall stress level.
The Inner Guide
An Inner Guide, which has access to one's entire memory bank, learns what the true solution is to an internalized negative voice. It works to replace a partial solution with the true solution: a voice that will accurately reflect one's thoughts and actions. And an Inner Guide will be a new voice in the mind: a positive one. If you already have an Inner Guide and are giving it regular time to work, it is in the process of exchanging partial solutions for true solutions. And if you don’t yet have an Inner Guide, I’ll soon be offering a new way for you to acquire one.
